The Weird Letters That I Found

By Kate Dixon aka Katie Bell (

Rating: PG

Summary: This is an odd fan fiction - the first ever like it when HPRealm published it in late 1999. It is a series of letters written to HP characters from HP characters, and it's very fun!

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J. K. Rowling. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. It's just fan fiction!


< >I got up that morning and my mother told me our cat had escaped again last night. He's not supposed to be an outside cat, butů Well, I went to look for him.

< >In the woods to the side of the yard, I saw a scuffle. I was sure it was Pete, our cat. But when I got over, it wasn't just him. He was fighting something. I got closer. To my surprise, the other creature was an owl. It was very clearly on its last legs. I pulled Pete off and looked at it. It flopped over. I looked closer, and saw it was dead. Must have had a heart attack or something, I thought. But I noticed that it had a letter clasped in its talons.

< >This is odd, I thought. A letter - it tugged at my memory, elusive, hiding. What did this mean? Where had I seen this before? I picked it up, curious. It had no address, so I opened it.

< >Out fell three sheets of a stiff paper. I looked at them. I read all of them through twice, trying to realize the import of what they contained. It didn't take very long; none of the three letters were very long. But they reminded me of what I had been trying to remember. This was important, I knew.

< >"But who'd believe this?" I wondered aloud. "People will say I made this up." So what I decided to do was this; I'll tell you the content of the letters, then you can decide whether or not to believe them. I don't know you, not really, any of you, and if you think I'm crazy, well you can't do anything about it. And this was the first letter:

    < >To the Heads of the Department of Muggle Relations, the Department for Misuse of Muggle Artifacts, and the Department to Keep Wizarding Secret;

    < >I must once again express my outright alarm at current Muggle developments. I have reason to believe that they are becoming aware of us. I am sure that you all realize what a disaster that would be. Currently, the movement is not too big, but unfortunately it seems to be growing very quickly. We need to find out who the 'J.K. Rowling' is and who is feeding her information. This has got to be stopped. I have word from the International League of Wizards that it has spread to every corner of the globe. This is a serious emergency. We must stop it now.

    Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic.

< >The second letter was as followed:

    To Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic:

    < >Minister, I think you are taking this threat a bit too seriously. I've done some research on the subject, and the Muggles who have learned of our existence fall into several categories.

    1.) Children. This is by far the largest group. As you know, we have always had trouble hiding ourselves from Muggle children, because if they see a wizard on a broomstick, they will believe their eyes. They have not yet skepticism and rejection of magic. Fortunately, this group has little or no power. If children started telling their parents about flying cars or ghosts or witches, they will not be believed.

    2.) While there are some Muggle adults have learned the truth, they mostly do not believe it. Those who do, again, would be laughed at if they told the general public. I believe that you yourself have said that no-one would believe a Muggle who told of wizardry? I don't think this threat is as big a problem as you think.

< >I could not make out the scrawled signature at the bottom.

< >And the third and final letter:

    Minister Fudge,

    < >I personally think that the phenomenon that you have referred to is a good thing for us. You see, the truth has been revealed as fiction, and in this time, the safest way to keep a secret is to shout it from the housetops - in a way. Like as fiction. No one will ever believe the truth now!

< >I wasn't sure quite what to do, but I couldn't sleep that night. I went to get a drink, and was halfway downstairs when I heard a tremendous bang. I looked out the window and thought I saw a tremendous, bright purple, triple-decker bus barreling down the road. And now I can't find my house key, and I know I had it in my purse, and there's a cat that I caught looking at me funny, and at the street sign rather intently.

< >Mom says I keep jumping at small noises, and she's mad because I stole all the garlic in the house to put around my door. But I keep thinking, better safe than sorry. It's very exciting, to know for sure that there is a world out there, hidden for most people, populated by wizards and such, even if I can't be part of it. Even if it is a little scary. So I can't tell people, because they'll think me mad. I know the truth. It's got to be worth it. That's what I keep telling myself.

< >But I almost wish I hadn't found that owl.

- fin -

Back | Home | Kate